While Awaiting Refugee Families' Arrival, Volunteers Discuss Mental Health
In anticipation of the arrival of three Falmouth-bound Afghan families, the Neighborhood Support Team has kicked off a series of meetings intended to better prepare and equip their volunteers to be of the utmost assistance, professionally and emotionally, to the refugees.
This session, held on Sunday, October 24, was led by Alison Waldman, director of strategy and initiative at Azadi, which is a DC-based nonprofit organization that works to uplift Afghan women and girls, helping them find their voice and become advocates for themselves and each other with the help of digital storytelling. The word “azadi” means freedom or liberation in Farsi, Urdu and Hindu.
The discussion focused largely on the mental health of refugees with a specific focus on that of women and girls. Ms. Waldman has years of experience working with various agencies to resettle refugees, specifically in Greece and the DC/Baltimore area, and has worked with populations from South and Central Asia. Having been in the DC area for three decades, Ms. Waldman said she and her husband recently bought a home in Brewster and, having just learned of the Neighborhood Support Team’s efforts, felt compelled to get involved.
“It’s really challenging work and it’s really important work,” Ms. Waldman said to the group of about 22 volunteers over Zoom. “Anything I can do to impart knowledge, suggestions, or to help in the process, I can do that.”
The discussion that followed was mostly a crash course to give the volunteers an idea of who these refugees are and what they may have been through. Ms. Waldman explained that resettlement can be a greatly traumatic process that may leave lasting effects, especially on women and girls who are more vulnerable to gender-based violence along the way. The challenges of physical resettlement often pales in comparison to the difficulty of healing the emotional and psychological wounds endured during the process.
“In my experience working with refugees coming to the DC/Baltimore area, I just assumed they must be so happy to be here,” Ms. Waldman said. “But they weren’t. They weren’t happy to be in the US… All they wanted to do was be back home. I just assumed, ‘Oh, they’re here, they’re in safety,’ but they’re not. They’re not necessarily happy and relieved, because this is the beginning.”
Oftentimes, refugees feel more isolated by their experience than anything else, Ms. Waldman said. Even after leaving refugee camps, where they tend to live in cramped quarters with countless other men, women, and children, they often do not find solace in each other and, as most do when faced with severe trauma, internalize their feelings. For them, resettlement in a new community can be just the beginning of the long process of acclimating to a new environment, culture, and lifestyle. This brings along with it feelings of anxiety, stress, and confusion about where they are going, who will be there, and how long they will have to stay.
“It was really shocking when we uncovered this, because we just assumed that when you’re living in tents that are literally on top of each other, you just assume that people would be talking and hanging out and just unloading their emotions, their experiences, and their days on one another,” Ms. Waldman said. “But they’re not; often they can’t. Often the men in their lives—husbands, brothers, fathers—won’t permit the women to leave the tent or leave the area or go off and talk to other people.”
This is the reason that Azadi focuses much of its efforts on storytelling and uplifting the voices of women and girls, which are usually silenced. Ms. Waldman even played one of Azadi’s girls’ video storytelling projects, in which a 17-year-old girl talks about the importance of finding her identity in the wake of the resettlement and the desire to share her story with the world.
The second video shown took a much different tone. Made by a group of women living in the Moria camp in Lesbos, Greece, it showed how bad the conditions can get in refugee camps and how tough day-to-day life really is, especially for women.
“When a woman suffers, her whole family suffers,” Ms. Waldman said. “That’s why we focus on women. Women tend to be the glue that holds the family together and when a woman is suffering emotionally, the whole family is suffering…but they’re always the most vocal members of the family. Sometimes they don’t have opportunities to speak, sometimes they’re afraid to speak.”
The biggest takeaway from Ms. Waldman’s talk on Afghan women and mental health was that although this work of resettling refugees is difficult, comfort can often be found through storytelling and a shared sense of belonging to a community.
“So many of these young women and young men, they’re not meek and powerless,” Ms. Waldman said. “They’re courageous, they’re smart, they’re determined, they’re resilient, they’re fun, they’re funny and they’re strong… When you give somebody the opportunity to tell their story, to own their story, to feel good about their story, to really feel like they can tell us about their culture, their cuisine, and what their lives were like and their country is like, it really brings a smile to their faces and makes them feel like they have a purpose. And everyone needs to feel like they have a purpose in life.”
Granted, not everyone will be ready or willing to share their life stories right away, but even just knowing that that is an option and that there is an ear ready to listen can be therapeutic, Ms. Waldman said.
Another message that Ms. Waldman greatly emphasized was of a more introspective nature. She advised the volunteers to set personal boundaries as they see fit and develop personal relationships at their own discretion.
“It’s really important to understand what they may or may not have experienced, so that you can think about what you are willing to give of yourselves,” Ms. Waldman said. “It’s really, really, really essential that you do think about this; do you want to keep this a strictly professional relationship, where maybe you accompany them to doctors’ appointments or help them figure out the bus system? That’s easy. But they’re going to invite you for dinner, they’re going to want to feed you, they’re going to want to spend time with you.”
Ms. Waldman said that in her experience, refugees enjoy sharing their culture and traditions, as it can be another therapeutic coping method for the adjustment. It is all part of the process, she said, but so is maintaining one’s own boundaries, and maintaining self-awareness is key. There should be a sense of community, but there should not be any pressure to be part of their social lives.
“Never feel guilty, because anything you do is amazing,” Ms. Waldman said to the group. “I’m in awe of all of you for your willingness to give yourself in this way. It really can be such a rewarding experience. You think you’re giving, but what you’ll find is you’re receiving a lot more than you give.”
It is still unclear when exactly the refugee families will be arriving, but the Neighborhood Support Team has been busy organizing its committees and laying the groundwork for its assistance programs. A fundraising event will be held on Wednesday, November 3, at Falmouth Academy. Hosted by podcaster and Falmouth resident Beth Mays, the event will spotlight episodes of Ms. Mays’s podcast “Hidden Heroes,” which shares the stories of glass-ceiling-breaking women from across the world. Space is limited, and tickets can be reserved by emailing Beth Mays at beth.mays10@gmail.com.